Spoof Team
Voter Abstinence
Save yourself for the right person
meet chad

It happens to almost everyone, we hear the words of some attractive politician “I’m going to change Washington,” and our ears perk. In 2008 a lot of people fell in love with Barack Obama, many young people wanted to be “a part of history,” propelled by that intoxicating rhetoric, and great marketing blitz, many people put on their “O” faces.

It all felt so nice during the campaign and let’s not forget inauguration day, swearing to us to uphold the Constitution; we were enamored, this was our knight in shining armor.

It hurt when he first entered, job losses and bleeding financial sector; but you knew everything would be alright, Barack was a political virgin too. A strange thing started to happen though, the rush of endorphins was replaced by the President endorsing many things he once said he was against. Soon, people started getting burning sensations and those rash of job losses weren’t going away, firings today are as high as they were in 2010. There’s no cream for that.

Don't gamble with your vote

Printing Money

It’s election season again, and we can choose to vote for Obama again or choose Romney. But, let’s not confuse voting with thinking, do we have to be “voting sluts?” Of the last few elections has anything good come of it? Sure it felt nice at first, but it was just followed by disappointment.

Obama, like Bush before him, has been loose on spending; even selling out to large interest groups ranging from labor unions to financial behemoths. I guess what I’m saying is that we’ve been neglected. The government told us it was for the people, by the people; but it turns out that it’s just a casual hooker subject to the highest bidder. We thought we were making love, but really we just got fucked.

So why gamble with your vote? The slot machines in Vegas give you a better chance of winning, but in this high stakes game, your missing cherry could cost the nation $16 Trillion.

"your missing
cherry could
cost $16




You don’t have to be a political virgin to practice abstinence, and you don’t even have to practice it all the time. Election season is a confusing time for all of us, and you may feel that there is a single issue that you can tack onto a politician…but you know the reach around is for your wallet and rights. Just don’t feel pressured. They’ll try to run a train or a bus near you to drive you to the polling stations, telling you anything they can to get you in bed. Don’t be fooled though, they’re already in a relationship.  

Unaffiliated videos:

"Don't Vote! It Just Encourages the Bastards." - P.J. O'Rourke

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